Nose picking

I made chocolate croissants with 6 Year 3 children on Thursday and a 7 year old boy with special needs told it it was more fun than picking his nose.

I am assured that this is high highest level of compliment, so go me!

I've now baked with the entire class as it's a big class of 38, so am now going to make Christmas cards with them each Thursday and with Year 4 on Wednesdays.

I did the Workers' Education Fund's course in Helping in Schools last term. I spent a day each week on the actual course for 20 weeks, plus 2 afternoons a week helping in the 2 Year 4 classes. I concentrated on giving 1 to 1 handwriting, maths and reading help to those who needed it, plus did general Teaching Assistant duties. This term, I go in twice a week still and bake with the Year 3 and Year 4 classes. I'd love a paid job at the school, but there's a serious lack of money at the moment.

Bugs

Out of my 6 year old's mouth:

"There's no school tomorrow, as it's an insect day"

Never work with animals or children

The dog was barking as he is incapable of pushing doors, so was "stuck" in the lounge with the children. I took pity on him and went over to push the door.

He thanked me by jumping up onto the bread board in the kitchen while I was in the lounge and stealing a cake, minus the 1 slice I ate about an hour ago. It was expensive too as was a gluten free one.

I am seriously unimpressed at everything now.

Flapping, limping, definitely not FLYing

My house goes through phases. It is my responsibilty as I am the Stay at Home Parent / Mother / Dogsbody / Cook / Cleaner / Calendar Co-Ordinator / Organiser / Nurse etc etc etc.

It's either tidy or messy, it very rarely falls between these extremes and is just ok. It is in a very untidy phase and I am now offically fed up with it. I decided to do less housework this month and concentrate my efforts on writing a 50,000 word novel for NaNoWriMo. It wasn't a good idea, I believe that I have a dog and a 3 year old somewhere in the lounge, but they are indistinguishable under piles of colouring books, a taken-apart RSPB kid's diary pages, dog fur and toys.

I should actually be tidying it up, but am instead sat in the kitchen organising parcel re-deliveries online, tidying up paperwork and drinking cappucino from our wonderful new coffee machine.

Now, if I had a cleaner and housekeeper, I'd have time to write a novel, bake cakes, scones and bread every day, I wouldn't run out of cheques and have no cash left in my purse, so be unable to pay for pantomime tickets and I'd be superwoman, wouldn't I?! I wouldn't have to tidy the kitchen table each evening so we have room to eat our dinner, as I would have a well-designed kitchen with storage and worktops and space. I wouldn't have had to tidy a pile of toys, books, letters, socks, a bat-shaped torch and a Chinese dragon so I could have room to put the new coffee machine next to a plug, would I?

But, what would I then blog about? The 3 year old and I did make pink-coloured fairy cakes on Tuesday morning, but we were supposed to be at a Jo Jingles class. We had fun and giggles and both scraped the bowl afterwards :)

Should I just cut out the middle man?

Should I save on washing up & put my daughters' breakfasts straight into the dog bowl, as more seems to end up in the dog's stomach than theirs :/

How to cook the evening meal

1. Engage brain & realise that the fussy 6 year old will not eat the planned meal of stir fried chicken, onions & mushrooms in cajun sauce and rice, as she won't eat anything at all in that list.
2. Plan 2 stage meal of fishfingers, home made Jamie Oliver recipe potato wedges & baked beans for the children & the original meal later on for the adults.
3. Children are hungry RIGHT NOW, so subsitute home-made wedges for oven chips (am running late as was having too much fun racing wind up snails from a Cbeebies comic)
4. Open freezer, realise that are no oven chips. Curse husband who must have used up the packet & not written them on the shopping list.
5. Explore freezer & find opened pack of alphabet shaped potato things that neither child actually likes.
6. Cook them & keep quiet about it.
7. Substitute dora shaped pasta for the 3 year old as she apparently no longer likes baked beans. This is my fault, for feeding her reduced sugar & salt beans last week, that were apparently yuck. She is the non-fussy child too.
8. 3 year old also apprently no longer likes fish fingers, give extra one to 6 year old.
9. Sit with children & mainline coffee.
10. Realise it's the PTFA meeting in an hour & that a shower would be useful & a change of clothes as being covered in dog fur & cake mix isn't a good look.
11. Decide (unwisely) to save time by leaving children unsupervised to finish their dinner.
12. Come downstairs to ketchup on the table & no beans or pasta shapes having been eaten as they are all apparently yuck
13. Feed left over fish fingers to the dog. Throw all but 2 un-eaten alphabet shaped potato things in the bin. Each child has possibly eaten one, but says they want them again as they spent a happy 20 minutes or so writing words on the table with them.
14. Cook second meal & realise that socks are sticking to the kitchen floor, so a sweep through is needed.
15. Add it to the Giant Doom List of Things To Do.
16. Eat.

Bladders and Tantrums

It's not really recommended to charge out (running late due to a lost cardigan) on the school run when you are dying for a pee.

You weigh up the pros and cons of zooming into the school with the 6 year old at 9am and using the staff toilets, but decide to mainatain a semblance of dignity and wait 'til you get home again.

Walking home, you urge the 3 year old to move along at a faster pace. She spies a friend miles and miles ahead of us, then has a meltdown tantrum as they are so far way.

You count to 10 about 50 times, while trying not to pee yourself.

The tantrum builds and builds, everyone stares, you try not to pee yourself. You remind yourself that you are a grown woman of 40 and peeing yourself on the pavement while lots of other mothers walk past you, is not very dignified.

You pick up the 3 year old & carry her up a small, but very steep hill. She thinks this is a good game and what fun mummy is. You grimace and ease her away from your bladder.

After what seems like about 4 hours, but is actually only 30 minutes from when you left home, you fling open the back door, ignore the dog and charge upstairs to the bathroom. The dog charges after you, another fun game!

Bliss, bliss, bliss ...

The moral of the story is to pee before you leave the house, even if you had only gone 10 minutes beforehand.

Welcome :)

I've just read the wonderful book Wife in the North by Judith Reilly & I'll be exploring her blog over the next few weeks. She inspired me to set up a public blog about my feelings on my day to day activities. I've been blogging for about 6 years now, but it's mostly for my benefit & that of my friends list. This is for you!

Unusually, I've had a day off from mothering, and have been to the huge shopping centre in Gateshead on a coach trip arranged by the PTFA. It was wonderful to not be ably assisted by my 6 & 3 year old daughters & to go into shops of my choosing & not have to look at everything High School Musical related. I sat for 30 minutes in Starbucks with a caramel macchiato and watched the world go by. I didn't have to rush off to toilets as no-one needed a wee RIGHT NOW! I bought lots of my Christmas shopping and admired the Autograph ranges in M&S. I braved the crowds in Primark & spent longer queueing than shopping.

I've come home to a quiet house as the 6 year old is at her first ever sleep-over. I feel sad as I missed helping her pack, seeing her excitement & giving her a cuddle before she went. Part of me wants to charge over to where she is just to see her, but that wouldn't be very cool, so I'm at home with the 3 year old. We're watching the X Factor, putting stickers in her Cbeebies comic & having a chat. She's wearing her new princess nightie from Primark & she's happy :)